| One of
the arts of Mixing it Up! is learning to spend less than five minutes with
each person. This means you need to develop a graceful exit strategy. Remember
how frightening it is for most people to be in a room filled with others
they don’t know, and how easy it is to feel out of place when they’ve been
left alone. It often feels as though there must be something wrong with
us, or we’ve been rejected. Keep that in mind when you leave others to
meet the next person.
You might
simply say, “Oh, I just noticed Carl across the room, and I need to catch
up with him. Will you please excuse me?”
My favorite
exit is to turn to see someone I know close by and then introduce them
to who I was talking with. This involves both parties and allows me move
on to meet someone new.
If you’re
not able to spot someone to introduce to the person when you’ve spent enough
time with them, mention that by standing near the food, they will be more
likely to meet someone they don’t know, because that is where the most
traffic is throughout the evening.
If someone
gets too comfortable talking with you, you run the risk that they will
end up sticking to you like glue. Several years ago, I offered to drive
a new member in Elite Leads to a mixer. Nancy was very nervous about attending
the function. When we got there, I introduced her to several people, but
every time I turned around, I literally bumped into her. After the fifth
or sixth time, it became a bit irritating, because she actually stood directly
behind me. No matter how many people I introduced her to, she kept clinging
to me.
I finally
realized that it wasn’t comfortable for her to walk up to someone and start
a conversation. I led her to an area that was fairly private and asked
if she had tried to meet anyone. Of course she said no. I asked what she
thought might be the worst thing that could happen, and she said that maybe
they wouldn’t want to talk to her.
“On the
outside chance that might happen, would you really want to know someone
who wouldn’t want to talk with you?” I asked.
“No.” Nancy
confirmed.
“On the
other hand, if you don’t introduce yourself to someone and they’re potentially
a Power Partner, you’d miss out on a great opportunity, wouldn’t you?”
“Sure,”
she brightened.
“What if
you could introduce them to someone that might end up leading to new business
for them?”
Nancy
smiled at the thought of being responsible for such a positive possibility.
So, one
more time I walked Nancy over to someone I knew and introduced her. When
we met up later she told me that she managed to meet several more contacts
on her own. One was a potential Power Partner that she was particularly
looking forward to getting to know better. She also mentioned that she
was able to introduce a few people that she met earlier in the evening
and it made her feel like she was contributing to their success.
Nancy was
a quick study. Throughout the years I have seen her at various functions
and she will typically have someone with her who has never been to a mixer.
One time I jokingly told her that she should get a medal for helping so
many people get comfortable with mixers. Nancy laughed and said,
“I can’t believe how much I missed out on all those years before I knew
how much fun this could be!”
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